The last 18 months have really held a magnifying glass up to how each of us relates and communicates with others. Nothing like stress, zoom boxes, and global reckonings with deeply embedded social ills to make us confront directly how each of us shows up and speaks with others.
Especially at work, but in all aspects of our lives, how we communicate and how we lead has to be rooted in the idea of connecting with others. Else it's really just noise. In the communications workshops I have developed and lead, I often say "communication is more about the relationships you build than the words you speak."
How do you connect, how do you relate to others, to build a sense of connection and a culture of inclusion? By stepping out of our habits and thought loops and stepping into relating more consciously.
At a recent immersive leadership program I participated in, we talked about the concept of Conscious Relating. In the formulation we worked with, there are 5 commitments each of us makes to relate, communicate, lead more consciously. Each of these commitments are the foundational core concepts of so much of the work around communicating as a leader working effectively in a hybrid work environment.
So what are these five commitments?
1. I commit to taking full responsibility for my well-being, and I commit to helping others take full responsibility for theirs. This is important because taking full responsibility means 100 percent....not 80 percent or not 150 percent. We want to take our own, and help others feel a sense of ownership and agency over theirs.
2. I commit to grow in self-awareness. Curiosity is a way of learning. This is about being curious about ourselves, our own habits and our own concepts of self identity (watch out for "I am ..." statements), and to come to conversations from a place of curiosity rather than certainty.
3. I commit to allowing grace. To work with what is. This is really about the power of attention. We get used to the push, the hustle, and the frenetic pace, we really don't notice what's happening around us. When we do, it gives us perspective on ourselves, on others, and on where we want to end up.
4. I commit to seeing others as allies an equals. This doesn't mean you have to like everything about everybody or be everybody's best friend. It's about seeing the worth, the human-ness in everyone -- and resisting our very common urge to put ourselves above or below others in how we relate. Everyone has something to offer. What is it?
5. I commit to expressing myself with honesty, and to be someone others can express to honestly. So much of communication and leadership is about relating. It's about credibility, reliability, and relatability. Without being honest with ourselves and others, and without creating and environment where people can be honest with us, we create more of a disconnect and fail to find the common ground which is what we seek to achieve when we lead and communicate.
I'd love to hear what you think. Do these commitments resonate with you?
Thanks to Janet Stone for introducing these concepts so eloquently.